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Spork: Into the Blackspiderman's Web (Part 3)

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Published: Apr 23, 2012

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Literature Text

Present time...

Creep: Wait, we were in a flashback again?! WTF?!
Bryan: Kind of.
Erik: Duh?

Phineas woke up to the sounds of birds chirping at his window. They were making happy sounds, but today was no day to be happy.

Ally: Aww D: But I like being happy...
Creep: It’s not like Phineas to be happy, you know!
Ally: Oh yeah, I forgot, he went emo now...
Phineas: *fetal position* No more Izzy.....no more Izzy....no more Izzy......
Bryan: Ugh.

Phineas had not seen or heard from Isabella for more than a day now, and he was growing more and more paranoid with each passing minute.

Creep: Oh my god, I called it. XD
Erik: Called what?
Creep: Phineas being obsessed over Isabella like hell.

He awoke before anyone else in the family, so he decided to use some of this time to build an invention that would help him find his best friend.

Ally: DUDE! If I were Phineas I would be like “Why in hell’s name is no one reporting a missing child!!! HOLY FUCK!!
Creep: Nah, Phineas would make some crazy-ass invention to find Isabella; it’s not like him to take the easy way. xD
Erik: Wow, the story did some shit right!

He worked through the sunrise on an GPS tracking device. Throughout his summers with Isabella, he accidentally collected some of his friends' hairs, and stored it under his bed.

Creep: Errrr.......
Ally:... again, Dafuq?
Phineas: I also have pieces of her clothing, some underwear... I got a shrine of her under my bed!
Creep: LOL, I read it wrong and thought you said that he had a shrine of her underwear under her bed. XDDD
Ally: LOL!
Bryan: HAHAHA!
Phineas: I got her first tampon right here.

Well, now it didn't seem like such an accident to him, because now he could use one of Isabella's hairs to track her down if she was still in town. Unbenounced to him, she wasn't. But he didn't know it yet, and it would be a while until he did find out.

Ally: … Well the “suspense” was ruined. Thanks.
Creep: SPOILER!
Erik: What suspense? This is boring as fuck.

Anyway, he made several adjustments to his inventions into the wee hours of the morning until finally, his mother was awake and called the two brothers down for breakfast.

"Morning, Phineas. How'd you sleep?" His mother asked.

"Terribly. I kept having nightmares that something bad happened to Isabella." He responded weakly.

Phineas: You know I can’t live without her, right?
Bryan: How do I... get through one night without you...
Erik: So explain to me what the hell happens every episode that Isabella DOESN’T appear in.
Creep: They....do things like normally. Simple as that.
Erik: He doesn’t flip out then.
Creep: So, that’s bullshit, story. You’re simply pulling this out of your ass.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that, hon. But don't worry. I'm sure Isabella's going to turn up soon."

Linda: Thank God the little bitch was gone. I hated her anyways.

"Yeah, there's nothing to worry about." Candace tried to reassure him, in a much nicer tone than the night before. She tried not to sound like a total bitch, but she couldn't help it. That's just who she was. (Hey!)

Creep: THERE’s the hate.
Ally: that... was totally needed.
Bryan: Damnit, BSM.
Erik: The fucking narrator doesn’t call the characters “Bitch”, you moron. Unless it was 1st person.

"Nothing to worry about?" Phineas tried not to sound angry, but he was truly upset and conflicted.

Creep: When Isabella isn’t around, Phineas grows a temper.
Erik: And a pair of balls.

"Candace, one of my best friends in the entire world is out there missing and there's no way of knowing if she's OK or not. I'd never be able to forgive myself if something happened to her. It's bad enough I forgot our friend-a-versary and bhurt her feelings, but I'd never live it down if she got hurt or something."

Ally: Haha, I read “bhurt” as “butthurt” xDDDDD
Creep: LOL! XD

"I'm sure she's probably just staying with a relative or something."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Phineas looked down at his cereal, the feelings of depression overcoming him. Candace could see that Phineas was really upset.

Creep: Ugh, I hate stories that make Phineas totally incapable of living a life without Isabella around. Get over it!
Erik: But, CreepE, this show is called “Phineas and Isabella”! How can it go on without Isabella?

"Look, Phineas, about last night-"

"Don't worry about it Candace. I just got angry at you because I was angry at myself. I was upset that I could be so stupid!"

Erik: Just how I remember Phineas talking from the show.

"You weren't being stupid! Come on, all boys are clueless at your age. Everybody goes through this kind of stuff sometime during their life."

"Not unless you're Michael Jackson." Ferb quickly added, poking fun at the deceased celebrity. Candace and Phineas stared at him for a moment before returning to the conversation.

Phineas: FERB YOU’RE SUCH A DOUCHEBAG! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON!?!
Creep: Who’s Bad? You are, Ferb.
Bryan: Holy shit, man.
Erik: Wtf?!

"Yeah, but I totally hurt her feelings. How is she ever going to forgive me!"

"She'll get over it eventually. Trust me, us girls never hold a grudge for very long."

Erik: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Phineas looked at her for a moment before responding again. "Really? And how do you define 'very long'?" She knew he was referencing the various times she tried to get them in trouble for just enjoying summer vacation. She winced a little bit. "Come on, Candace! Get serious! I have to think of something to get my friend back!"

Ally: Quite untrue, I know girls who can hold grudges for years...
Creep: And they are willing to kill.
Bryan: Hell yes.
Erik: How was that a grudge? She was trying to protect them.

"Well, why don't you do what you did for Perry? You know, put up flyers or sing a song?"

Creep: I honestly didn’t like that episode. The boys acted like they didn’t give a SHIT about Perry compared to AT2D.
Erik: How so? It was one of the few episodes Phineas portray an emotion other than happiness.

"But in those instances, Isabella was there, and she was on the guitar. I'm nowhere as good as her! But, I suppose you're right, Candace. I can't just sit here and do nothing! I have to take action now and get her back! But I don't even know where to begin!"

Erik: Seriously? How did Isabella have any relevance to that episode? She didn’t even have any damn lines!

"You could start by making flyers and filing a missing person's report."

Ally: FINALLY! Some sense!
Bryan: >Implying.

"Yeah right, Candace. I really doubt something as little as a missing ten year old girl is gonna attract any attention."

Creep: That was......I dunno what that was.
Ally: Yeah, like that whole Caylee missing thing didn’t shake up our country.
Bryan: Gee, that sure is being fucking pessimistic person, isn’t it?
Erik: I...I just can’t logically see how this could be anything other than a troll fic...

Fortunately, he was wrong.

In fact, in just 2 hours, the entire street was covered in police cars, police officers, CIA agents, witnesses, etc. Everyone was worried about Isabella. In fact, even the skies had several choppers looking for her from above. Practically the entire neighborhood and the CIA were involved...well, that is, except for a black man whose house was just destroyed.

North: Oh, of course.
Bryan: Never forget, the /b/lack man was an hero.
Creep: Predictably stupid.
Erik: CIA agents? The hell? Please don’t tell me American Dad is gonna be in this too...
Creep: Tempting fate again, eh?

Even news crews were on the scene.

Erik: Why doesn’t Vivian fucking do something?!
Ally: OH EVEN THEM TOO?!

"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker. It is now hour 3 into the search of young and helpless 10-year old Isabella Garcia-Shapiro."

Creep: Joy, we’ve got fuckin’ cameos from Family Guy again.
Bryan: Guys... guys... ~~she just took a freaking bus~~ she took the midnight going anywhere~!
Ally: Dude, where is her Mom saying “Oh she’s not missing”?
Erik: How goes FG and P&F go together? Please explain.

"Good afternoon, I'm Diane Simmons. The missing person's reported was filed on little Isabella at around 8:00 a.m. this morning. She was reportedly last seen running into her suburban home crying after an argument with a friend."

Creep: I think this story’s dated. Diana’s dead, I think.
Bryan: You think? This story is old as fuck, dude.
Erik: How did they know she was crying due to a friend?

"Currently, there is no evidence to call this case a 'kidnapping'. But authorities have reason to believe, which they will not share with Channel 5 Action News, that someone in the neighborhood may have some idea as to the whereabouts of this little girl."

"She is described as 4'2", about 70 pounds, and she was last seen wearing a pink skirt or blouse, white undershirt, and a pink bow."

Erik: 70 pounds?! The hell?! Is she anorexic or something?

"If anyone has any information on this investigation, they are urged to call the police."

Ally: Nah, really? I didn’t know.
Bryan: Holy devildickens, Sherlock!
Creep: I mean, who in Danville knows this little bitch?

All the kids of the neighborhood, including Candace, Stacy, and even Jeremy, were putting up flyers to find her. The adults were asking people around if they've seen her anywhere, but nobody had a single clue.

In fact, the only person that knew at all was her own mother, Vivian, but she was trying to cover it up by asking other people around.

Creep: Mother of the year, ladies and gentlemen.
Erik: Can’t she be arrested for this shit?!

Ironically, the only person that wasn't helping out was the black man who had lost his house the other day. But that was understandable considering...he lost his house the other day. If they had asked him if he'd seen Isabella, they might've gotten somewhere by now. But we'll cross that road when we get to it.

Erik: You seriously gonna integrate FG and P&F that close together? Also, what are all of these FG characters doing here? They live at opposite ends of the USA!!!
Bryan: Andrew Hussie has better narration that this. And that’s really saying something.

Meanwhile, the CIA was all over this case, and the Flynn family were trying to help them as best as they could. But they weren't getting anywhere. CIA agents Stan Smith, Avery Bullock, Dick Reynolds, even Stan's pet alien, Roger, disguised as a CIA agent (American Dad!) were getting some information from everyone in the Flynn family that may have something to do with her disappearence.

Erik: You seriously had to point out to us that this was from American Dad? =/
North: Really? You had to add American Dad as well? *Facepalm.*
Creep: Well, there’s some good coming out of this: at least Stan’s here....oh wait, that’s not good at all.
Ally: DISAPPEARANCE* dipshit...

But so far, nothing was coming out.

Bryan: That’s what she said! *canned laughs* Wait, that didn’t make sense at all!

"I don't get it. We've asked nearly everyone on this block, but we're still no closer to finding this girl." Stan said going over his notes.

"Well it's only been 3 hours, Smith. Hold your head up, chum. We'll find her." Avery assured him.

Erik: So far at least the AD characters sound...reasonable.

"Yeah, but this show always gets things done in a day which only last 11 minutes. Things never usually last more than a day. Even those half-hour episodes take place over one day. Wouldn't we get in trouble with the studio?"

Erik: I take that back.
North: Of course, a fourth-wall reference. Usually it’s funny. Not here.
Creep: Classic. *sarcasm*

"I highly doubt it, Smith. I mean, all of this is in our scripts."

"Oh.”

"Of course, Smith."

"Oh thank god! That was bugging me this entire time!" Stan said with a sigh of relief. "So what do we do now?"

"I don't really know."

"You wanna go play solitare?"

Ally: *Solitaire FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUU-
Bryan: Impressively, the force of Ally’s scorn caused a page break.
Ally: Thank you, I thank you. xD
Creep: HAIL OUR NEW PAGE QUEEN! *bows to Ally*
North: I sense tropes!

Meanwhile, somewhere in Ohio, Isabella was riding her bus to Missouri, ready to get away from everything she once knew. Poor girl. If she only knew that running away from your problems was actually a federal crime.

Ally: That was needed information. Thank you.
Creep: Thanks, story.
Erik: So CIA and news stories are covering this...and the bus driver doesn’t look at Isabella and go “Waaaaiiiitttt....”
Creep: No, that would imply logic and clearly, that’s not Blackspiderman’s goal here.

She was looking at old photos of her and Phineas and the whole neighborhood making the world's biggest plane, making a haunted house, the time they all became animated...such found memories. She didn't want to give all of that up, but she felt she needed to teach Phineas a lesson.

Erik: Isabella, you are such a bitch.
Creep: REFERENCES!!!!!! Blatant ones, at that!
Ally: *FOND!!!! HOLY SHIT DID YOU TAKE SPELLING CLASSES AT ALL?!
Isabella: *looking at pictures of Phineas’ ass* I miss it so much...*kisses the picture deeply* Mmmmmmm.....

"If he thinks he can just forget about our anniversary like that and expect me not to get angry at him, then he's got another thing coming!" She said to herself as she closed the scrapbook hard and slammed it down next to her. She crossed her arms and tried to hold back tears. She hugged her bear tightly. It was the same bear Phineas had given her for her 7th birthday. She named it 'Phineas'.

Creep: Time for a shitty song! But I’ve got a better song.

~~Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine~~
I'm leavin' my life in your hands
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance
And how you got me blind is still a mystery
I can't get you out of my head
Don't care what is written in your history
As long as you're here with me</strike>

Creep: There’s going on beneath the water
People getting hot, making sons and daughters
It’s just you and me
In L-U-V
In the T-U-B
Hot Tub of Love

Ally: Of course she named it Phineas...

She looked out her seat window and saw that now she was nowhere near Danville now. But she didn't care. She was determined to carry out her mission.

~~I don't care who you are~~
Where you're from
What you did
As long as you love me
Who you are
Where you're from
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me</strike>

Creep: Bubbles in the tub
Bubbles in the glass
Fig in your mouth
Finger in your--
BASS!

Deep down, though, she really did still love him. She loved him with all her heart. But there was no way she could go back now. She'd have too much explaining to do.

Ally: You’re going to have to go back eventually fucktard.

~~Every little thing that you have said and done~~
Feels like it's deep within me
Doesn't really matter if you're on the run
It seems like we're meant to be
I don't care who you are (who you are)
Where you're from (where you're from)
What you did
As long as you love me (I don't know)
Who you are (who you are)
Where you're from (where you're from)
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me (yeah)</strike>

Creep: Making love tonight
Make incontinental love
Tonight

It has been frustrating for her to know that he hasn't been picking up on the clues that she likes him. But she knew that he wasn't doing it on purpose. Deep down, he cared for her just as much as she cared for him. But come on. He's a ten year old boy! Weren't you 10 once? Oh. You weren't? H-How is that even possible? How the hell can you skip your teen years? Oh-Oh-Oh! No comment! Is that you what you said? Hey, Hey! HEY! Get back here! Don't walk away from me!

Erik: BSM scares me.
Ally: Dafuq did I just read? PADDING??!!!
Creep: Indeed you did, Ally!

~~I've tried to hide it so that no one knows~~
But I guess it shows
When you look into my eyes
What you did and where you're comin from
I don't care, as long as you love me, baby</strike>

Creep: Giving you a Hickey
over the mighty Mississppi
Sucking on your toe
Over downtown Tokyo
We’re doing this dance
Over Paris, France
Chuck Berry me
Over Germany

She started crying at the thought of what could happen. She knew that this could ruin her chances with Phineas at all. She stayed strong and held back the tears.

~~I don't care who you are (who you are)~~
Where you're from (where you're from)
What you did
As long as you love me (as long as you love me)
Who you are (who you are)
Where you're from (where you're from)
Don't care what you did (yeah)
As long as you love me (as long as you love me)
Who you are (who you are)
Where you're from
What you did
As long as you love me
Who you are (who you are)
Where you're from (where you're from)
As long as you love me
Who you are
As long as you love me
What you did (I don't care)
As long as you love me</strike>

Creep: We take it slow
‘Cause it’s not a race
We take it slow
Into out spaaaccccceeeeee
It’s just you and me
Hot Tub of Love

Suddenly, she got really tired and layed her head down on her backpack. She had the seat to herself so she didn't have to worry about having to give the person next to her some leg room. So she plopped her tired head down and drifted into a quiet and peaceful sleep. This action would later prove to be the beginning of her downfall.

Bryan: No shit.
Ally: LAID*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LSPODIGSDLGKJADOPFIUADDVNSD:LFJ OHMYFUCKINGGODYOUCANNOTSPELLORWRITEFORSHIT!!!!GODIE!
Bryan: Damn, Ally! Another page break thanks to you!
Ally: :’D I must have a gift. I think it’s my lucky track shorts!
Creep: That’s two for two. XD
Erik: Please don’t tell me she gets raped....

Several hours later, back in Danville, the search was still going nowhere. Phineas had even decided to get into it, building a DNA tracking system and going all around the neighborhood to look for her. But he had no such luck, so he returned home, feeling even worse than he did before. It was now about 7:00 pm.

Ally: Did we need the time?
Creep: Because we need all the time in the world......
Bryan: I’ve got 2 minutes till I stop giving a fuck.

"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. We are now in hour 9 of the desperate search for 10-year old Isabella Garcia-Shapiro. She went missing sometime this morning. Her mother, Vivian Garcia-Shapiro, claims that she last saw her daughter leaving the home at about 5:30 yesterday morning. She said that she was going to run an errand for her, but never returned. It was only this morning that a neighbor called 911."

Ally: VIVIAN YOU FUCKING LIAR!
Creep: The things a mother will do for her daughter.
Erik: CIA is involved. How can she do this without fear of arrest?

"Police are currently re-questioning people around the neighborhood but say that they do not have a suspect or even a person of interest in mind as of yet. But we'll bring you any details as we collect them. Live at the scene, I'm Diane Simmons."

"And I'm Tom Tucker. Channel 5, Action News."

Creep: Thanks, I got that the first time.

Phineas trudged over to his family & friends & sighed heavily, ready to give up. "Well, I've tried everything I could think of. I even went around the neighborhood using this tracking device to find her. I fear she might be gone for good."

Creep: WHAAA? A device of Phineas’ that....doesn’t work?! O.o
Erik: It works.
Creep: And doesn’t get results???

"No she's not, Phineas. She's just doing a really good job of hiding." Lawrence said, trying to assure Phineas that things would turn out OK. But he was having doubts. Meanwhile, over on the other side, the black man who lost his house

Erik: CreepE?
Creep: …..
Erik: It’s a joke. But seriously, he has a name. Use it.
Creep: Racist prick of an author. >.>

was overhearing their conversation, and realized they were all still talking about Isabella. So he decided to see if he could be of assistance.

"Pardon me, everybody. I live on the other side of the street, and I couldn't help but overhear your conversation." He said as he took out a MISSING flyer that had a picture of Isabella on it. "Is this the little girl you folks are looking for?"

Erik: Was this made before or after the Cleveland Show? Seriously, they live on opposite sides of the country. FG characters live on Rhode Island and P&F characters live in California.
Creep: No, they don’t live in California.
Erik: They live near a beach. Danville is in California. Look it up.
Creep: They also live not too far from Mount Rushmore.
Erik: It never said they lived near Mount Rushmore. They just visited it.
Creep: It took a short visit to it without packing or anything, so they’re not too far from it.
Erik: Who said it was short?
Creep: Didn’t you see the episode?
Erik: Because they aren’t staying the night and such details are trivial.
Creep: Danville isn’t in California. It had no definite area. Dan said this is as canon.
Erik: I’ve been to Danville California. It exists. It’s also near an ocean.
Creep: They’ve also made to...you know what Erik? It’s not in California. It’s not the same Danville.
Erik: Just let me bash this bastard for it. There’s a Danville in CA and it’s near a beach.
Creep: There’s more than one Danville, Erik.
Erik: How many are near a beach?
Creep: It’s the Springfield effect; Danville itself has no DEFINITE AREA. It moves to one place to another for the sake of the plot. Dan himself said this.
Erik: Springfield is in a particular state.
Creep: There are tons of other Springfields.
Erik: They revealed the one the Simpsons live in.
Creep: Recently.
Erik: They always knew where it was. They left us several hints. It’s in Oregon.
Creep: Danville never hinted its position.
Erik: Only one Danville near a beach. This story sucks, so let me bash it, damn it.

Why yes. Yes it is." Phineas said confused. "And why are you asking this?"

Phineas: It’s seven o’clock, that’s usually when I stop giving a fuck.

"Because I may know something that may have either nothing to do with this case or could help us find this girl."

Creep: Oh SUDDENLY you found something that would no doubt help find Isabella? Where the fuck were you, asshole?!
Erik: Damn you, nameless Black Man!

"Really?" Phineas's face lit up. "Well what is it?"

"Well, yesterday morning at about 5:30 am, I was taking my bath when I heard a bus coming down the road. So I looked outside and saw a little girl that looks identical to the one in this picture sitting outside by the sidewalk. Then the bus suddenly swerved out of control and hit my house and I fell out - we've been through this already. I don't need to repeat myself, do I? - Good. Anyway, after that, a second bus, this one was light navy blue with the numbers 261 on the front of it pulled up and she boarded that bus. Then it took off down the street."

Erik: Somehow I can’t imagine Cleveland saying that.

"It did?"

"Yep."

"Wait a sec?" Stan said, onto something. "Did you say 'light navy blue' bus?"

Erik: Wait, where the hell did you come from?!
Cleveland: Nope, I’m just fucking with you.

"Yes. Why?"

"I've heard of those before." Stan took out his portable PSP and linked to the Internet and search 'light navy blue bus'. He then showed everyone the pictures.

Creep: Stan’s a 42 year old man. Why does he have a PSP?

"A few months ago, the CIA started a new program called 'Cross-Country Unit of Narcissistic Transportation', or the 'C' word, for short. It's a program that takes old public transportation buses and puts them on routes that travel all across the US. Any funds made go directly to research for AIDS and other STD's."

Erik: Why is that fucking important to tell us?!
Creep: PADDING!

"Wow, isn't that nice."

"The problem is they needed to find drivers who had absolutely no lives at all, like homeless people, or even ventriloquists."

"But thankfully, there's only 20 of these buses in existance." Avery added. "So it shouldn't be too much of a hastle to find this little girl."

Creep: You have some seriously fucked up spelling, Blackspiderman. -.-

"Well what are we waiting for!" Phineas shouted out. "Let's go find her!"

Ally: HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY CHRIST! IT’S EXISTENCE* AND HASSLE*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Tries to kill self. Fails*

But it was far too late already

Somewhere out in California, Isabella was still on her bus, fast asleep. Now having been outcold for nearly 7 hours, she was the only one left on the bus. Not to mention that she had missed her stop hours ago.

Creep: WAH WAH WWWWAAAAAHHHHH.

In fact, right about now, the bus was pulling into its rightful bus station for the night, and the bus driver and his friend were about to get off and quit for the night...which turned out to be famous ventriloquist Jeff Dunham and one of his puppets, Peanut.

Bryan: Oh shit. You kidding me, bro?
North: Oh, fuck you.
Creep: Goddamn cameos.
Erik: *facepalm*

(A/n: If you don't like him, don't keep reading! If you've never heard of him and want to keep reading, look him up and watch some of his performances before you keep reading. This way, you can't bash him for being a bad comedian and I can't get in trouble for taking something which I've already said isn't mine. Oh, and the following part up until the end of this chapter israted T for extended uses of language.)

Creep: ….you got to fuckin’ kidding. Are you seriously putting this gigantic wall of AN in the middle of the fucking story?! Okay, fuck you, Blackspiderman. You clearly don’t know how fuckin’ storytelling or writing works!
North: *Headdesk*
Erik: I hear when he was a child his mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of him, but the mafia wanted too much.

"Jeff-fa-fa, do we really have to do this?" Peanut asked him.

"Yes. We have to make sure nobody's still on board. We could get into a world of trouble."

"Jeff, this bus has been in service for about 3 months now. I highly believe that if we were to get into any trouble, it would've freakin' happened by now."

"Yeah, well, let's make sure." So Jeff took the intercom and spoke right into it. "Attention all passengers, this is the final stop for the night. Everybody please exit." Jeff waited another second before talking to Peanut again. "See Peanut. I told you. Nothing to worry about-"

"Mom, will you please keep it down! I'm trying to sleep!" Isabella groaned as she lifted her head up and opened her eyes. She then took a shock, noticing that no one else was on the bus except for her, Jeff, and Peanut. Jeff and Peanut simply stared at her with a shocked expression.

"What did I tell you, Jeff-fa-fa? Our first day on the job and already we're screwed!" Peanut shouted into his face, and then turning to isabella, who made her way down the aisle down to the driver's seat.

Ally: Why the FUCK is Jeff Dunham in this?! NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE FROM A DIFFERENT TV SHOW!
Creep: Crossover, Ally. It’s a sucky crossover.
Erik: Urrrrghhh...

"Excuse me, but can you tell me where I am?" She asked them.

"Um, you're in California." Jeff said solemnly, while Peanut simply looked on.

"WHat!" She shouted exasperated and our of breath. "I'm in California!"

"Yeah. In fact, this is the last stop for the night. Why?"

"I was supposed to get off in Missouri!"

"Oh we stopped there hours ago!"

"Hours ago!" Isabella was starting to freak out a little bit, and it was showing. "Why didn't anybody wake me!"

Jeff and Peanut looked at each other for a moment before turning their attention back to Isabella. "What the f-did you hear this bitch! 'Why didn'y anybody wake me!'" Peanut said imitating Isabella. "This is a public bus, not a freakin' nursery! It's not our job to wake up sleeping children!"

Erik: Why the fuck do you not care that a parentless child is in the bus? Shouldn’t you do shit about that?!

"He's right." Jeff agreed.

"God, I hate when this happens! We should put up a sign!"

"What kind of sign?"

"Attention! If you have insomnia or any other kind of disease that hinders your sleeping abilities, do not get on this f#cking bus!"

Erik: OMFG...

"Peanut!"

"What!"

"I don't think we have to go that far!"

"Well, that's only one man's opinion!"

Isabella couldn't stand to see two grown men - or one grown man and a puppet for that matter - argue over something so stupid. "Well, where am I then?"

"Well, little girl, welcome to the wonderous town of-" Jeff took out a piece of paper for Peanut to read. "Sah...Nah-Tah...Ah...Nah!" Peanut looked at the paper and then at Jeff, and then at Isabella, and then once more at Jeff. "What the hell is that! Sah...Nah-Tah...Ah...Nah! What the hell? It sounds like an Indian Reservation! Sah-Nah-Tah-Ah-Nah!"

Ally: *cries* FUCK YOU... just... FUCK YOU! Not only do you put one of my favorite bits from Jeff Dunham in your crappy ass story, BUT YOU CAN’T SPELL WONDROUS!!!!!!
Bryan: Okay, look, if you can’t make new jokes, don’t bother. That’s a lesson to all you readers who want to write shit.
Creep: Fuck you, story.
Erik: This is so fucking boring. How much more is there?

"It's Santa Ana!" Jeff shouted.

"What?"

"It's Santa Ana!" He couldn't stress that out enough to him. But little did Isabella know, it was all part of the act. Peanut took another look at the paper.

Erik: *facepalm*

"OK, look, I know I didn't finish school, but that freakin' says 'Sah-Nah-Tah-Ah-Nah'! Dumbass!"

Ally: Who said that? Isabella? Peanut? Jeff to himself? WTF?
Creep: Dan?
Erik: It was Perry, of course.

Finally, Isabella just gave up, shouted "Bye!" to them, and left with her stuff.

"OK, goodbye, bitch!" Peanut shouted before Isabella was fully off the bus, which offended her greatly, but didn't turn back to them, leaving them on the bus. "Man, women are so irritable on their period! PMD comes earlier and ealier every year!"

"PMD?"

"Yeah. Pre-Menopause Disorder!"

Ally: She’s... nine. Nine. Dafuq...
Creep: This is totally PnF.