Creep: Holy crap, it took an HOUR to get through Chapter 11! 0.0
Kit: Yeah. O_O Good thing I’m not leaving ‘til 6.
Creep: I’m not leaving ‘til 5, so yay for me.
Erik: ...Hang on...bad news, guys...
Creep: You gotta go? >.< We’re only one chapter away!
Erik: No. Chapter 12 isn’t as short as it looks. =’(
Creep: *sigh* Let us journey like the P&F teens are suppose to be doing.
The banquet was incredible. Light Elves and Faeries, Mages, Sages and Wizards were all gathered in the giant, gold coated hall when the teenagers stepped in. Lord Kelinor, the Ruler of the Elves of Cantoria, was also present at the banquet. Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet and Buford were given seats at the head table.
Creep: Time to eat and time to stall.
Kit: Yay. Well, I AM kinda hungry... not in the mood for stalling, though.
Creep: ...I was talking about the story, but thanks for turning that into a joke. XD
Kit: YW. =3
They were introduced one by one, and then
Creep: Pffttt, Mortimer...I can’t believe that name. XD
Phineas was seated at the right of the Sage while Ferb and the others dined at the man's left. Lord Kelinor was seated on the other side of Phineas and took this opportunity to ask him quiet questions about himself. While the others spoke, Lord Kelinor also whispered words of advice and wisdom in Phineas' ear, words Ferb guessed to be guidance for the Seer; words Phineas never repeated to anyone—not even Ferb.
Those present took turns asking the teenagers what their dimension was like, which in reply Isabella, Baljeet and Buford would give eccentric responses. Eventually, they were so amused by the people's interest and curiosity in cars that they began enjoying the feast and nearly seemed to forget about the situation they were all in.
Creep: …..WHY COULDN’T YOU MAKE THEM TALK ABOUT THAT?! DX WHAT THE HELL?! Backward medieval people asking about the futuristic technology of the P&F-verse and you couldn’t write that!?
Kit: That’s way more interesting than shit we already know! You could have made the people likable and make the characters feel for them and stuff... or... something! Anything to make this quest worth going on!
Creep: Damn it, your lack of focus enrages me. >(
Pao: Ash! Joke is coming up at 3 o clock!
Ash: Shit shit shit! Avoid it! Avoid it at all cost!
Pao: Interesting conversation is coming up.
Ash: DO NOT MAKE CONTACT! Repeat...DO. NOT. MAKE. CONTACT.
But Ferb never spoke. He hardly even touched his food. When he looked over to Phineas, the red‐head did not seem to be enjoying the party too much either. All he did was answer questions calmly when asked and smiled as much as he could.
Creep: Questions we’ll never hear by the way. Seriously, why doesn’t Ash explain about the actual fuckin’ world?! Hell, the Sage and Edwin are literally the only people from Cantoria who actually speak out of P&F.
Erik: ...So a whole chapter on them eating food, eh?
And the more he noticed them, the more Ferb became uncomfortable.
Had he suddenly become the only one who could not shield his fear of what lay ahead?
Once the banquet had finished, Edwin led the students up to their quarters. Once he had left, Buford and Baljeet watched Isabella practice shooting arrows at a target that was placed on the wall. They made a game out of it and drew pictures of people they despised at school—Irving being one of them—and hung the pictures up on the target to see where Isabella would hit them.
Creep: ….*tosses papers in rage and stomps out of the room* ….*comes back, redfaced* >( FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Kit: *hits the deck* to the rage bunker! *hides*
Creep: What with you and the Irving hate, you bitch?! >(
Kit: *pokes head out of rage bunker* Seriously; he hasn’t fangasmed in quite a few episodes. He’s had a few moments here and there, but he’s starting to lose his fan-boy-ness a little and making him his own character; a likable one! *withdraws into bunker*
Creep: That’s because....*GASP* THEY DEVELOPED HIS CHARACTER DURING SEASON 3. Once again, back to my theory; obsessed over Season 2 and doesn’t care about the other seasons, despite very imporant character developing moments! >.<
Erik: ...He’s a tamer version of Ash more or less...Ash is so bad, even she hates just a small essence of herself.
Kit: *comes out of rage bunker* That’s it; I’m making a character for him. Irving needs more love. =-=
Creep: Yes. We all have a little Irving inside of us all, don’t we?
Erik: Except for Ash...who has a giant obnoxious Irving inside of her that wishes to seize control. <.<
Creep: I imagine a demonic-looking Irving that the real Irving must face.
Irving: I must face my inner demons! >(
Demon Irving: PHINEASANDFERBFOREVER!!!! >D *stomps at Irving* BLAARRRGGGG!!!!
Erik: Ash is a female Irving...so basically she turns his innocent admiration for their inventions to a pitiful and desperate lust for their 9 year old bodies. Kinda sad.
Often times, the arrow would land somewhere that would make them all laugh.
Creep: I hate you all. All of you. Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet....you are all scum. SCUM.
Kit: *cracks knuckles, opening wordpad* Getting the profile template now. This shit has hit all new lows. ><
Phineas sat near one of the windows, looking on. He admired Isabella's amazing aim, and laughed softly every time his friends did or said something silly. If there was one thing he loved seeing more than anything, it was seeing people laugh and have fun.
Creep: Which we....amazingly see little of in Ash’s stories.
Erik: Unless it’s at other people’s expense.
"Try aiming for his family jewels," Buford said, pointing at the image of their Geography teacher.
Creep: Ah, it just gets lower as it goes, doesn’t it?
"That is only funny if she does it by accident," Baljeet pointed out. "Hey, Bella, think we can blindfold you?"
Erik: ...More nicknames. =/ And since when do P&F HATE anyone? ...Anyone?! Not even 2D Doof did they truly despise!
Ash: Because hate, pain and sorrow are the cornerstones of P&F, silly. =3 There’s no rainbow; only a horrible black cloud of disappointment and death. =3
Kit: I’m just amazed they called her, ‘Bella’. We truly have reached new kinda of lows.
Creep: I get the feeling we’re in for more Twilight references.
Isabella raised an eyebrow. "Want me to shoot you by accident?" she said flatly, making Buford chuckle.
Creep: Hahahaha, good friends threatening each other. =3
Kit: I come from a family of playful, empty threats. XD I threaten and get threatened every day and none of us ever follow through. Your argument is invalid. XD
"Then no, you can't. Just enjoy whatever shot I dish out." She held her bow up, pulled her arm back with the arrow and released it. The arrow whizzed through the air until it had slammed into the picture, right in the figure's right eye.
"OOOOHHHH!!! Buford laughed. "That's sweet! Mr. Magnesium's gone blind in one eye, ha! I'd die if this was all voodoo!"
Creep: Wow, this implies their teachers are really real assholes, am I right?
Erik: ...Are you sure the Teachers are the assholes?
Creep: Well, to be fair, almost EVERYONE is an asshole.
Erik: Ahhh but the asshole of my asshole is not an asshole.
Creep: Ah, Irving then. =3
Phineas chuckled softly as Baljeet and Isabella laughed along with Buford until the girl was ready to shoot again.
Ferb, who had been sitting on one of the beds removing his armour, walked over to his brother while the others enjoyed themselves. Beneath the plates of silver, he wore nothing but a black tunic and dark boots.
Unlike everyone else, without his armour Ferb looked quite ordinary.
Creep: Compared to any other time without his armor?
Erik: ….Are they seriously going to sleep?
Creep: No, worse.
Creep: MORE TALKING!!!
Kit: *hides in Conversation Bunker*
Phineas continued to watch the others until Ferb came to a stop next to him. Then, he looked up at his stepbrother.
Erik: Blow me, Ash.
Creep: I wouldn’t recommend it. >.>
Erik: ^ Knows from experience.
Creep: Hahahah, no. >.>
Ferb looked at him in confusion and concern. "Why are you smiling?" he asked softly.
Phineas did not reply right away. Once he turned his gaze onto his friends, he said, "Why shouldn't I?"
Erik: ...Because you’re going to go An Hero?
Ferb rubbed his arm. "Well, it's just… you know, our situation," he pointed out. "We don't know what's happening back home, we're not sure of what the future holds,
Erik: Well I do...because...y’know...Ash spoiled it...and your game spoiled it for you.
Kit: It a neverending cycle of spoilers. It’s like the internet.
and we're embarking on a journey in a world that isn't, you know, supposed to even exist. And to top it off, you've been given the role of the Seer. And here you are, smiling…" Ferb shrugged questioningly. "I mean, aren't you afraid, Phineas?"
Phineas looked at him again before shrugging as well. "Of course I am," he replied.
"Then, why are you forcing up a smile?"
Creep: Because Ash believes that if Phineas is smiling no matter what, he’s “in-character”. You know, because he’s smiling a lot. =3
Phineas blinked before looking at his hands. "If I don't, Ferb, then who will?" he asked very quietly. Ferb remained silent. After another moment, he let out a sigh and sat down on the windowsill right next to Phineas. He leaned over his lap and crossed his arms.
Creep: Time for a very “deep” conversation of life and death.
Kit: Oh, joyous of joys. Tell me when it’s over...
Erik: ...Are these guys just stupid? They’ve played the fucking game. They know what happens. That’s like me going to Bowser and asking “Does Mario win BTW?” Kitters are you lagging?
Kit: Kinda sorta, yeah.
"I didn't mean to push you away, Ferb," Phineas apologized softly. "You know, since yesterday… I just really didn't want you to be part of this… Or anyone else to be part of this, for that matter."
Ferb looked at him. "Why?" he asked.
Phineas shrugged. "I just didn't want you to go through it, that's all…" He sighed and laid his head back against the wall. "Stupid; why did I have to go and touch that dumb rock? Seriously, if I could tame my curiosity even a smidge, I wouldn't be in this mess."
Creep: Even though you have the curiousity of a toddler at that point. >.>
Erik: ….And yet they were all happy to fight off Mitch and 2D Doof...
Creep: I guess cowardice, lack of balls and romance came with puberty.
Erik: Consistency, Ash, consistency.
Ash: What “Consistency”? I no find it on Canadian Dictionary.
"Something is bothering you, isn't it?" Ferb guessed.
His brother looked up at him for a moment before looking away again. "Yeah," he said. "Just a… certain detail that was sorta mentioned indiscreetly to me when I got all this silly Seer knowledge yesterday during the blackout…"
"The journey to the Labyrinth? If it makes you feel better, I'm not all that keen on it either. I mean, we're all only sixteen years old and we have to embark on this crazy mission—!"
Creep: ….is Ash really implying about their age right now? Is she really questioning the boys based on their ages? Really?
Erik: Well they’re past their prime at 9 years old. Now they’re like old tired men--sorta like Ash. At 16, you’re past your prime and doomed to fail.
"It's… not the journey that's scaring me, Ferb," Phineas interrupted. He waited a moment before looking up at his stepbrother. "If you want to know the truth, I'm… almost excited. I mean, we're teens, about to save the world. It's a whole adventure on its own. We've got swords, bows and arrows, and axes as weapons. We're living a quest that should only exist in books, movies or video games. What sixteenyear‐ old gets to do that? And on a school night to boot? It's almost as good as inventing."
Creep: UGHHHHH. Okay, Ash, one last rant: don’t reference that they invent and don’t show them inventing...at all.
Erik: She feels the need to reference because the audience is constantly forgetting the fact--hell most of them have forgotten this is P&F. Every time the reference is made they go “....Oh yeah....”
Creep: It’s wonder how she’s gonna fuckin’ sell this as her “original” stuff.
Erik; It’s simple...watch, I could copy paste this in word, use the replace tool and replace all of the “Phineas’s” with “Sparkys” and all of the Ferbs with “Leos”.
Ferb stared back at him in silence before opening his mouth. "Then, if the journey there isn't worrying you," he began, "… What is?"
Phineas's eyes suddenly glazed over. He turned away while blinking quickly in order to keep his tears from overflowing. "It's… the end result that scares the bejeepers out of me," he said very softly.
Creep: *sigh* Bejeepers? This is starting to sound like bad ‘70s cartoon dialogue. >.>
Phineas: JINXIES! 0.0
Ferb gave him a confused yet worried look. "Wh‐what end result?" he asked nervously. "Did the Sage lie about us going back home afterwards?"
His brother shook his head. "No, no, he was telling you the truth," he replied. "Once the mission's been completed, you guys can go home if you want. He was being completely honest."
"Th‐then, why is the conclusion frightening you? And why are you speaking about us returning home… as though you aren't including yourself?"
Creep: Ferb, you already know. =\ WE already know it.
Phineas sighed as he placed his hands together and looked up at the ceiling. Tears made his eyes shine in the candlelight nearby. "Ferb," he said as his voice broke. After a short pause, perhaps to control his tears, Phineas looked at his brother again. "You know what happens to the Seer at the end of the game…"
Erik: ...Are your characters just mentally defective Ash? I mean holy fuck....DUH!!!!
Creep: Probably. WE GET IT!!!!
It took a few seconds for the answer to register in Ferb's mind. Once it had, his eyes went wide with dread as he covered his mouth.
Ferb: Duuurrrrr.....*GASP* HHHURRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0.0
Erik: ...So...if he didn’t know Phineas was to die....why was he flipping out then? =/
"It doesn't matter how this story ends," Phineas continued; "Good or bad, happy or sad, I'm not going back home." He looked away again. "Either the Dark Sorcerer will get me and control me like a weapon of mass destruction… or else I reach the Center of the Labyrinth, save the world and… sacrifice myself at the same time…"
Creep: Blah blah blah....
He sniffed and looked down at his hands. "You, Isabella, Baljeet and Buford will be able to go home," he repeated as his voice broke again. His chin began to tremble. "… But I won't. Because I decided to be Curious Phineas Flynn again, I just had to pick up that stupid rock." His voice shook more and more.
Creep: We know. Ash made you into an unreemable idiot, we get it.
Erik: ...Why not just refuse to save the world if it’s that big of a deal to you? You don’t HAVE to be Jesus Ferking Christ!
Creep: I guess to save the world to save his friends, I guess? Sent them home?
Erik: ...Or hold a knife to the sage and tell him to let them go back.
Creep: Or maybe Phineas invents something....like...I dunno, a dimension-traveling device?
Erik: Inventing is taboo, CreepE...it just doesn’t fit with a show like P&F.
"Now, I'm not only playing the role I haven't wanted since I got the game, but I'm playing it on a real board game, where death is just a stab, slice or spell away…"
Creep: Wait, board game? Why are we talking about board games? VIDEO GAMES, remember?
Ash: ...Aren’t they the same thing?
Phineas raised his eyes heavenwards again once he had wiped his tears over his sleeve. "That's what's scaring me," he whispered shakily. "Having to save the world but die in a dimension who knows how far away from ours… Without saying goodbye to Mom or Dad, or Gramma and Grampa Flynn and Fletcher, or Perry or…" He covered his mouth as more tears filled his eyes. He sniffed. "… Or Candace," he added in a squeak.
Creep: UGHHHH, don’t make him squeak. He’s not a rubber ducky, Ash.
Ash: I play with a rubber Phineas toy in the bath.
Hugging himself, Phineas added, "It's not fair. I don't want to die yet. I'm only sixteen, I haven't gotten my full driver's yet, I haven't graduated from high school, I don't even have a girlfriend yet…. And I won't even be able to see my big sister get married. And to make matters worse, I won't ever be able to invent ever again. Why couldn't I have been teleported here with my sketchbook?"
Creep: Why does it matter? You don’t invent at all and make less progess in your projects than *I* do! >.<
He buried his face between his arms. "I didn't want you guys to touch the Stone because I didn't want to come here. I wouldn't mind the adventure and may even enjoy it more if I didn't know what was going to happen to me at the end."
Creep: Too bad there was a video game that apparently existed in your world and you just happen to stumble--wait, how the hell DID they to Cantoria? I thought the dimension universe was circular? Wouldn’t they logically end up in the 2nd Dimension?
Phineas: Oh well, at least we have a motivation towards my sex scene with Isabella in Book 3. Stay tuned!
Stone: With me as a guest star. ;3
Phineas: I refuse to die a virgin!
"You won't die, Phineas," Ferb whispered reassuringly. He slid off of the sill and sat down next to his brother. As Phineas raised his head again, Ferb crossed his arms over his knees. "I promise that nothing will happen to you."
But Phineas only shook his head. "You can't promise something like that, Ferb," he whispered. "Not if the ending's already been written."
Creep: Oh my god, you’re an idiot.
Erik: ….Ash if you’re going to make your characters THIS stupid...why not at least pace this moment later in the effing story?
Creep: Because Ash doesn’t care about the goddamn story; she only cares about...talking. That’s basically it for most of her stories in a nutshell. They lack continuity, focus, character or anything plot-related for the sake of......just....talking. Nothing else. That’s why so many of her fics before had little-to-no-plot in them; it’s just them having random-ass conversations and her calling them “stories”.
"But the ending's never written in stone, Phineas; that's why it's unpredictable. It's the future. If a
glowing stone could teleport us to another dimension, then what tells you that I can't promise you'll come home with me once this is through?"
Phineas looked at him in silence for a moment or two. When he answered, he looked at Isabella, Baljeet and Buford laughing about another arrow shot. "It's the fact that I won't be enough to get the job done properly, Ferb," he replied.
Ferb felt uneasy when he heard this.
Creep: We all did.
"What does that mean?" he wondered.
The red‐head sighed and laid his head against the wall again. "I wasn't meant to do this alone," he added.
"… Does this have to do with what the Sage said about my role as a Knight?" Ferb guessed. "When he said that I was initially supposed to be something else?"
"What did he mean by that then? What other role was I supposed to play?"
Phineas sighed again and looked at his brother. "Remember when he said when we first got here, that a certain role… my role… was meant to be shared?" he said.
"… Yes. Who was supposed to share it?"
Ferb raised his eyebrows in shock and gaped. "… Me?" he echoed. "But why me? Why two Seers instead of one?"
"Because of my age," Phineas explained. "Seers are normally chosen after their coming of age, which for us in the USA is twenty‐one officially.
Erik: ...You fail. It’s 18, Ash. 18. Do some research, please, before you write crap like this. Please....just....a minimal amount of research. Just a tiny peak at Wikipedia is all I ask. 21 is when you can drink. 18 is when you are an adult.
Magic or superpowers are just too much for anyone younger to handle. And having the weight of an entire world on your shoulders would crush you. So initially, my role as Seer was supposed to be shared with my stepbrother
Creep: Fuck you, Phineas. Going again your own way of life. >.>
Erik: Quick question...what does US age laws have to do with coming on age? In medieval times coming of age was roughly 12-15. You were typically considered a man when your beard was coming in. But yeah, 12-15. Woman were wives at this point in time.
, who had just as much innocence and curiosity as I did." Phineas' eyes grew dark. "But… it just couldn't be in the end. So I have to carry it alone… Which will be way too much power for me when it comes to delivering the world of Cantoria from the Dark Sorcerer. I'll be overcome by the amount of energy needed for this job either before I save everyone or after I save everyone. So either way, your promise won't be held, Ferb—!"
Creep: So basically Ferb was suppose to be a 2nd Seer, but apparently Ash thought it was too much Gary-Sue for one book. >.>
"Whoa, whoa, slow down!" Ferb interrupted while holding up his hands. "What did you mean by that? That it simply was not meant to be in the end? Phineas, if I must share this burden with you, then I'll go ask the Sage to boost Buford up to Knight! I'll do anything just so that you don't have to do this alone! We've always worked as a team; I'm not just going to sit around while you need to take on this alone, not if I can help you. What must I do to change my role?"
Phineas looked at him tiredly before turning his gaze away. "It's too late, Ferb," he whispered. "You can't change it."
Creep: You can’t change your fate.
Kratos: ZZZEEEEUUSSSSSS, I WILL CHANGE FATE! >(
Creep: ..he does, actually. XD
Kit: *returns with lunch* Sorry. Got hungry. What’d I miss? Anything important?
Erik: ...It’s the Seer, Kitters. You missed nothing. XD But Ferb put 2 and 2 together and realized Phineas dies. Phineas reveals that Ferb could have been a 2nd Seer and nobody would have to die, but he didn’t want to inconvenience Ferb, so he had the Sage make him a knight instead. So now Phineas must die.
Kit: I won’t even question it. =-= *slurps spagheti’o’s* I don’t even care anymore.
"I will if I must! Why did it end up that you needed to take on the Seer role alone, if you're not going to be strong enough?"
Phineas remained silent as he watched the others goof off with their weapons. "… Because, Ferb," he whispered. Looking at his brother again, he said, "You don't believe in Real Magic."
Creep: Ahhh, that’s where all this bullshit come from.
Erik: ...So wait, if Ferb joined, Phineas would not need to sacrafice himself or Ferb at all....
Creep: That’s right, folks. Ash literally says that Ferb couldn’t become the Seer because he couldn’t....BELIEVE...in magic. So yes, that’s an even better moral; for the sake of life, screw logic and reason and just...BELIEVE in magic, stay pure and you’ll be powerful!
Erik: ...Aren’t you religious? ...Which logically means you must believe in a form of magic, even if you want to call it something else?
Creep: Me or Ash?
Erik: You. XD
Creep: I’m not that religious. Magic’s just cool.
Kit: Besides, being religious is different than blind faith and bullshit morals... It’s a PART of it, but vastly different. (I live with people who say evolution is bullshit. *shrugs*)
Erik: ...So basically Phineas has to die because either:
A) He didn’t want to be arsed with inconveniencing Ferb to be the Seer
B) Ferb was too stupid to realize Santa’s existence proves Magic is real and now his brother has to die for it.
Kit: I’d believe the former before the latter, but even the former is implausible.
Erik: Then what reason did you come up with? XD
These words ricocheted off of the walls in Ferb's mind, shattering them in the progress.
"Though the Seer doesn't actually possess magical powers, the Seer Stone does," Phineas explained. "I studied the game inside out, remember? I know everything about every character in this game.
Creep: Too bad we don’t.
The Seer Stone gives the Seer the power he needs to save Cantoria, but it's only to be used in emergencies. The energy and life force of the Seer is combined with the Stone at the end because the Stone needs a living host to transfer its power and light across the land. That's the only way Cantoria will be saved…"
Creep: I remember reading the first chapter of Seer and...instantly hitting the “Back” button when Ash had this up. XD
His eyes darkened again. "But the Seer has to believe this to be possible. He doesn't need to like it, but he needs to believe that Real Magic actually exists… But you don't believe that. You said so yourself. Everything's got an explanation… That's why your role changed from Seer to Knight, Ferb; because you weren't fit for the role anymore…"
Creep: Yes, we’re honestly dealing with the most bullshit thing you’d see in a crappy magic-based movie: The Power of Belief.
Kit: *facepalms* See, this is why I stopped being Christian... it’s nothing but ‘Power of Belief’ bullshit. Movies can make it work sometimes, but... this... *sighs and goes back to God of War*
Creep: I mean....we’re already so low on this list, I honestly didn’t see this coming frankly. Had no idea it would be THIS lame, this cliche and this tired.
Erik: ...Uhhh...even magic has an explanation....but yeah...that means....
B) Ferb was too stupid to realize Santa’s existence proves Magic is real and now his brother has to die for it.
Erik: Thanks Ferb!
Creep: Even though he literally saw Santa FLYING AWAY WITH A ENTIRE CLUBHOUSE ON HIS SLED!
Ferb was devastated. "You mean, just because I don't believe in magic, my brother has to carry this burden alone?" he said in dismay. "Phineas, there's got to be some other way out of this; I can't let you take on this alone, not after everything we've been through together in the past thirteen years. Can't you convince the Sage differently? I mean, if you are the Seer, then—!"
Erik: ...Pretty much Ferb.
B) Ferb was too stupid to realize Santa’s existence proves Magic is real and now his brother has to die for it.
Phineas raised a hand and set it down gently on Ferb's shoulder. Ferb immediately ceased speaking and looked at him in silence.
Phineas: ...the plot demands sacrifice. We sacrifice logic and reason.
The red‐head forced up another smile. "I don't want you to worry about it, Ferb," he said gently. "You start yackin' away every time you get freaked out about something, and you and I both know how weird it gets when I become the quiet one and you become the chatterbox.
Creep: You know that? That’s pretty stupid. Why? Well, it’s not who they are, not how they are established and almost rarely...almost never actually did anything of the sort.
Erik: ….THE HELL, ASH?!
So let's just drop the subject and stop worrying about the future. Instead, we should worry about the present." He pulled his hand away and placed them together over his knees. "We've… got a big day ahead of us tomorrow," he added, attempting to change subjects. "We should be getting some shut eye…"
Ferb looked at him with distress in his eyes. "Phineas, I don't want to think of anything if I can't promise you that you'll come home," he said softly. "If I can promise you that one thing, then I won't worry about anything else."
Creep: Damn it, just kiss him, you fool!
Kit: Please? =-= That’d make up for... no, it’d make up for none of this, but it’d be nice.
"You can't promise to prevent a foretold death, Ferb."
Jesus: *ahem* =/
"Stop that! You won't die, Phineas! I won't let that happen! I promise you that you'll come back home again, I do!"
"… Ferb, that's impossible…"
"Last I checked, Phineas and Ferb could do the impossible. Remember?"
Creep: Last I checked, Phineas and Ferb were many things. Fun, adventures, funny, cool, likable, friendly, not referring themselves in the third person as it almost boosts their egos....
Erik: ….Is Phineas seriously going to go complete Jesus on us?
Phineas: *rises from the dead* ….I died...for your sins.
Francis: Yes...yes you did.
These words caused Phineas to stop and think. All of their past projects and adventures resurfaced in his mind, all the laughs and smiles, all the things people said they were too young to achieve but were able to achieve anyhow. It had all happened. And right in their own backyard, too.
Creep: Flashback overloa--*head explodes*
Phineas pondered a little more before looking at Ferb again. Although small, he finally sprouted a real smile. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes I do."
"Then, when I promise you that we'll return home together, do you believe me?" Ferb repeated.
"Let's pinkie swear on it, then."
At these words, Phineas threw his head back and laughed. "Pinkie swear?!" he exclaimed.
Creep: Wow, mood whiplash. Not to mention, not funny.
"Ferb, I thought you said that was for toddlers!"
"But we did it when we first met, remember?" Ferb reminded him. "When we were three years old. You told me that we needed to promise that we'd always be brothers, not stepbrothers. You said the step part cramped your style…" He choked on a laugh at that. "A three‐year‐old said that."
Erik: ...If I’m supposed buy into this “we’re brothers” crap, Ash needs to stop feeding me the opposite. =/
Creep: It’s basically implying that a 3-year-old knows the relationship of true brothers than Ash does.
"I picked up a lot from my sister."
"Anyway, you made me promise that, even if our parents would never get married, we'd be brothers forever. So we made a pinkie swear, and sure enough, Mother and Father got married a year later." Ferb held up his pinkie. "So, in recognition of that day, I, Ferb Fletcher, hereby pinkie swear—" the word made Phineas giggle again
Creep: You know, because he’s a child, not a 16-year-old.
, "—that I will return to Danville with my brother, Phineas Flynn."
Erik: ...I keep forgetting this is P&F because Ferb DOESN’T SHUT THE FLYING FUCK UP!!!!
He cracked a grin. "How did that sound?"
Phineas held up his pinkie. "Convincing," he replied. Wrapping his pinkie around his brother's, he added, "I, Phineas Flynn, hereby hold you to your word, Sir Ferbalot."
Creep: Yeah, she wrote this before the actual canon medieval episode...even thought that was funnier, better and....basically ultimately superior to this in every single way.
"That part was corny."
"I know. But I had to add it."
Creep: Because Ash is corny.
They held their pinkies together for a moment longer before Ferb released his and then placed his arms around Phineas. Phineas did the same and held him tightly.
"We'll make it through this, Phineas," Ferb whispered. "We always do. And until we're sitting in our rooms again, I won't let anything happen to you."
Phineas closed his eyes. "I know you won't," he whispered back.
"We can do this, Phineas."
"Yes… yes we can." Phineas said, kissing his brother in the lips.
Erik: ...You were all thinking it.
Kit: Kinda sorta. XDDD
Creep: We’re all gonna die.
Kit: Oh, yeah. Mercilessly.
End of Book One
Erik: ...*twitch* ...MY GOD!
Creep: 2 HOURS!!! IT TOOK 2 HOURS TO READ THIS SHIT! DX
Erik: Part of me hopes Ash doesn’t submit the rest...*shudder*
Creep: Oh my god, this is the overrated piece of crap EVER. How anyone likes this series, let alone SURVIVED this book is probably too shocking and appalling to wonder. >.<
Erik: ...I feel so empty and drained....
Creep: This is.....worst than “Fireworks”. >.>
Erik: It’s Fireworks on steroids.
Creep: The characters are ungodly unlikable, either Flanderized beyond believe or totally different people.
Erik: ...This is ⅓ of the series...and it’s spent doing nothing. Nothing at all.
Creep: This is the most pointless fuckin’ fic ever...not to mention, totally ruins any (if at all) urge to read the rest. >.> I mean, the selling point of this series is....not even the focus. Cantoria, the world, the history, even the details of the quest are vague and poorly explained and rushed. Ash doesn’t allow us to absorb the fact that P&F are in a new.....dimension, it doesn’t allow us to realize the thrill of adventure. Everything we want to hear is either not heard at all or rushed like hell. All of Ash’s focus goes to the interactions of characters are all TERRIBLE. Not only are they NOT Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford OR Baljeet, they’re just unrelatable characters who spout out cliche lines, terrible catchphrases, blantant references and act like reall assholes to each other, despite being so called “friends”. We slogged through 7 chapters and even the payoff is disappointment. You wanna know how much the Sage’s exposition was basically?
“Hi, I’m the Sage! You’re chosen by a rock to go fight a evil wizard with powerful magic. You’re the Seer, a Knight, an Archer, Warrior and a Rope Master or whatever. You all trust you for some reason. Good luck and goodbye!”
Erik: I G2G. Will return at the normal doc. You and Kitters end this one, OK? XD
Creep: K. How about you, Kitters? Give us your insight. =3
Kit: *sigh*... Reading this again gave me a head-ache... Even if you did change this to different characters with different names, none of it would make any amount of sense. There’s ignorance for plot convinience and then there’s just stupidity... Mentally unhealthy stupidity... It’s got no focus, no depth, all talking and not a lick of action; this book wouldn’t sell enough for the full saga to get completed... (Not to mention Irving hate and character derailment, but those are sins we’ve already preached about.)
Creep: In fact, if you just rip bits and pieces of the chapters, this book could have been...not even a book at all; basically a booklet. There’s also the bullshit reveal of Cantoria being another dimension which is....amazingly convulted and moronic. Sure, teleporting them to another dimension would have been stolen from the show, but at least you could have easy made it more P&F in that case. Overall, this book is just...garbage, pure and simple.
Kit: I guess if Twilight got published, anything can get published, but it’ll be famous for its stupidity; the joy will be from making fun of it, not entertainment; that’s the wrong kind of fame.
Creep: And the fact that’ll be a public selling will certaintly doom the fate of humanity. Kitters claims the next book is better, but I doubt it. I really do. I doubt it’s worth 12 chapters of this.
Kit:.... Still. If she just reworked all the talking, the stupidity of the characters, the world itself, the bullshit morals, and... ya know, ironed out the rest of the details, there could be something worth reading. IDK. The second book is better only because shit happens in it; that’s IT. they go on their journey, they meet people, they get into fights...
Creep: But even so, the idea of making this original would only doom it even more; people basically read the Seer because it had P&F in it. People don’t read original stuff, so Imagination Jumpstart will probably be doomed from the end. I’d recommend to Ash that she just recton the SHIT out of this fuckin’ story before she sells it to anyone.
Kit: Mm-hm. It definatly needs heavy ironing. A LOT needs changing, or the editor will rip a new one into her.
Creep: XD THAT’d be worth a prize to see. Anyway, thanks for surviving with us, folks and thank you, Kitters for surviving with us for most of the book. XD
Kit: You’re welcome. It wasn’t a pleasure. |D... I kinda quit at the very end, but we made it. I’m just glad it’s finally ove--oh, wait, two more books. T__T
Creep: And now...Bioshock. =3 *leaves in a mist* Hopefully, she won’t bring those out. >.>
Kit: She’s announced she will. Eventually. *shudders*
Creep: Damn it. >.< Anyway, Bioshock awaits. *leaves in mist for reals*
Kit: As does the character for Irving love. :3 I’m out! *tosses down a smoke bomb and flees*
Erik: ...Quit advertising your games, guys. This spork was brought to you by--fuck it, not gonna do that joke.
Creep: Deal with it.